A dating profile is simply a friendly introduction: a few lines and a few pictures that make the right person want to say hello. If you are coming back to dating after many years, writing about yourself again can feel a little strange, and that is perfectly normal. Write a first version, put it aside, and return to it later with fresh eyes and a cup of tea.
Many widows and widowers wonder how much of their past belongs on the page. The short answer is a little, kindly put, with most of the space given to the person you are today and the life you would like to share.
Lead with who you are now
Open with something that shows your everyday life. Perhaps you walk by the sea most mornings, grow tomatoes, sing in a choir or have just started painting classes. Small, real details give a reader something to ask about, and they paint a far warmer picture than a string of adjectives such as kind, honest and caring.
Think about what a good Saturday looks like for you now and describe it in two or three sentences. If you have grandchildren you adore or a dog that rules the house, mention them briefly. They are part of your world, and they often make a lovely starting point for conversation.
It also helps to say what you would enjoy doing together. A line such as "I would love someone to explore country pubs and coastal walks with" invites a reply far more easily than a general wish for company, and it gives the right reader an obvious first question to ask you.
Mentioning your late partner
On WidowHearts, the people reading your profile have walked a similar road, so there is no need to explain or justify your situation. One or two gentle lines are usually enough, for example: "I was happily married for many years and lost my husband a while ago. I am now ready to enjoy good company again."
Leave out the details of illness or the final months. Those are stories to share slowly, with someone who has earned your trust, rather than with every visitor to your page. If you are still unsure whether the time is right, our guide on knowing when you are ready to date again may help you decide.
Finding the right tone
Write as you would speak to a new friend over coffee. Warm, plain language works far better than anything that reads like a job application. A touch of humour about yourself is welcome, as long as it feels natural to you.
Keep the overall mood hopeful. You can say the last few years have been hard, but finish on what you are looking forward to: travel, long lunches, a companion for theatre trips, or simply someone to share the crossword with. Readers respond to openness far more than to polish.
Be clear about what you are hoping for, whether that is friendship first, companionship or a committed relationship. Honesty at the start saves disappointment on both sides later.
What to leave out
Some things are better kept off a profile altogether. Never include your full name, home address, workplace, phone number or email address, and mention only the general area where you live rather than your street.
Steer clear of long lists of what you do not want, such as "no time wasters" or "no drama". They can sound sharp, even when you only mean to be clear. Try not to compare anyone to your late spouse or describe your marriage as perfect, because a new partner may worry they could never measure up.
Keep your finances private too. Never mention savings, property or an inheritance, as this can attract the wrong kind of attention. Our article on recognising romance scams explains why that matters.
Choosing your photos
Photos matter as much as words, so choose them with care. Use pictures taken within the last year or two, so that anyone who meets you recognises you straight away. A clear, well lit shot of your face with a natural smile makes an ideal main photo.
Make sure you are on your own in every picture. Please do not use photos with your late husband or wife, and avoid couple shots that have been cropped, as a stray shoulder or hand can be unsettling for the reader. Take off your sunglasses so people can see your eyes; a sun hat is fine as long as your face is clear.
Add one or two more photos that show you doing something you enjoy, such as gardening, walking or cooking. Daylight by a window or outdoors is flattering and easy. Ask a friend or family member to help if taking your own pictures feels awkward.
Once your profile is written, read it aloud and ask whether it sounds like you. Small changes over time are welcome and keep your page fresh.
Ready to share your story with someone who understands? Join WidowHearts Dating today.